Has anyone noticed how the temperament and personality of teachers seems to be dictated by the subject they teach?
The other night, I was looking for a high school for my daughter and taken back 25 years, suprised how little had changed.
Allow me to introduce you to the crew:
The head-mistress: This is the witch of the school. So wrapped up in her own affairs and self-promotion, she can’t even get the school captain’s name right. Wake up, lady. You might need that kid one day!
The English teacher: These people hang out in packs. They joke among themselves, hoping others will appreciate their humour. Surprisingly, a fair proportion of the crowd actually do get it. This lot is generally fun. It’s just a shame their students can’t learn how to spell.
The Maths teacher: This position is generally reserved for a wannabe comedian. Like the English teacher, they have their own brand of humour and hope others will appreciate it. Surprisingly, I actually did get it. But the maths room scared me and my daughter ventured to suggest I too might have turned into a nerd!
The History teacher: This is the burned out English teacher. The humour’s still there, but it’s a little more reserved. They talk about Pharoahs and vikings over dinner, so be warned!
The Science teacher: These people might seem to be teaching kids about space and electro-gadgetry, but in the back of their mind they are Commander of the Star Trek Enterprise. Their students will become the most valued members of their generation, and they will have Captain Kirk to thank!
The Music teacher: Talk about square pegs in round holes. They teach the most fun subject but expect miracles from their class. Consequently, they are cranky and unhappy souls - mortified that they gave away Janis Joplin, Jimmy Hendrix and flares in the 70s. Nobody, it seems, understands these people. It all seems so unfair!
The Physical Education teacher: Generally won’t stay in the job long. If it’s a bloke, girls have a secret crush on him. If it’s a girl, guys usually have a case of puberty blues. These teachers get on with everyone. After all, how difficult is it to impress when your job is to “organise swimming carnivals, cross country and school sporting teams”. These teachers meet the Year 12s at the pub on weekends!
The Manual Arts teacher: They wear 80s ties, button shirts and a rigid, upright stance. They rarely smile. I’m scared just thinking about these people.
The Home Economics teacher: These people also rarely smile. But who can blame them? They go to school to teach others about domestic duties before going home to practise it in their own time. Might as well be the cleaner, really!
I don’t mean disrespect to a profession for which I have great admiration – after all, on a bad day they deal with snotty-nosed, bad-mannered, foul-mouthed children they’re not allowed to smack.
